These ‘tongue in cheek' diary extracts are from Australian immigrants Andre, a frustrated ‘camel man', his wife Bianca a real ‘madam' and their energetic two boys Tyle 10 and Keal 8, who share their adventures and experience of everyday living Downunder.
It is just that time of the year for beers, biltong, braai vleis and the ‘bladey bokke', so we had 3 Aussie and 3 SA couples around for boerie rolls on Saturday night. A roaring fire which was made in the Weber to side step the current fire ban set the mood for the evening with a few rounds of drinks before the anthems. Amazing how well you can remember the words to ‘Inkosi' when you've had a few. We turned over more possession at the bar than the Boks did all game. Our Aussie guests experienced a bit of food poisoning or indigestion, I should say, when we forced them to eat the krimel pup. The concoction turned out more like stywe pup which had our guests chewing for most of the first half and the pot will have to be thrown away cos I don't think we'll ever get it clean.
Thank goodness for alcohol which has helped me through these depressing games. I just wish there was something that would help the next morning when the reality of losing is aggravated by a pounding headache. Sunday was a home day and started with the assembly of our new ‘gas barbie'. I never ever thought this old farm boy would ever admit to having a gas braai. It works a treat as we had some chicken kebabs and small steaks for Sunday lunch.
Our week was disrupted with a public holiday on Wednesday for the local agricultural show which we used to head down to the Gold Coast and spend the day at Dream World. This is Home to Tiger Island, The Australian Wildlife Experience and some of the tallest, fastest thrill rides in the world. Not sure who had the most fun on the exhilarating rides but we all enjoyed the Tiger show before heading home exhausted.
Bianca was organizing Tyles birthday party in the local park and during this running around she left $60 lying around at school and also her card in the Auto bank at the shops getting both back without losing a cent. The birthday party was a great success with all the boys enjoying themselves doing the simple stuff like sack racing, treasure hunt, egg & spoon races with only a few casualties.
As part of my initiation into Australia I had to attend an Aussie Rules match with some office colleagues who had to explain what the hell was going on. Quite simple actually, it's like a game of ‘gaining grounds' with no off-side rule. The field is so big that the players on our goal side end had to watch the big screen TV to see what their team mates are up to on the other end. There are almost enough umpires to provide a third side for the day and are far more entertaining than the players themselves. All this aside, Rugby could learn some valuable lessons from this game. Firstly their small outfits attract all the wives and girl friends making it a family outing, there are three breaks between the 4 quarters giving you ample time to get beers during the game with half time being almost half an hour when you can get a decent bite to eat.
Spring is certainly here with a stunning weekend, so we went off to buy a wheel barrow which is so smart the front wheel needs to be pumped up with air. After testing it in the garden I decided the ones back home are far better, especially with Sam the ‘black and decker' pushing it. After a clean up, we dropped the boat into the water and sped off exploring the islands in Moreton Bay. We found a spectacular sandy bay on Peel Island which back in the 19th century was quarantine station and then in the early 20th century it became a home to those with leprosy and is now a popular anchorage for boaties. The boys played on the beach while we relaxed then had some lunch and tried some fishing on the way home. I'm so glad to be back at work today so I can rest.
Don't miss: Tipping car guards and cold winters
Miss: Appeltizer, Big Korn Bites and the boy who sells
the newspaper at the robot